A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Q: Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.
There is a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ”Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!” Herman says, ”I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!”
Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
A: “It’s pasture bedtime.”