Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: “Put it on my bill.”

A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” “That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

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Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.

Q: Why did Adele cross the road? 

A: To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

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I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

 

Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop.

A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink